Joey: "I met them at the gym, they were on one of those climbing things and conversation just naturally drifted towards..."

Mick: "Your exploits in the face of El Capitan, that you climbed the Eiger..."

Joey: "What's the Eiger?"

Mick: "Well, a mountain in Switzerland."

Joey: "Oh, yeah, Clint Eastwood movie, right, got it."

Mick: "Every climber's dream climb."

Joey: "How big is that?

Mick: "Eiger? 'bout 5000 feet."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Joey: "W-w-wait a minute, wait a minute. This direction goes straight up to Suicide Ridge."

Mick: "Sunset Ridge."

Joey: "I don't care what you call it, I'm not going up there!"

Mick: "I can't climb it by myself, I'm not that good."

Joey: "Oh. When you're not that good, what does that make me?"

Mick: "You climbed Little Rock. Together we can do it."

Joey: "No! No. No! Ok? Think of something else."

Mick: "Look, he killed that pilot. You thinks he just lets Katy and Tara go when he's done with them?"

Joey: "What the fuck if we get both of us killed up there, then where does that leave them?"

Mick: We can do it. Hey...we're only ten feet off the ground!"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Joey: "Look, man, I'm just gonna hold you back.

Mick: "Joey, I can't do this without you."

Joey: "I'll be honest with you, ok? This is really scaring me."

Mick: "Me too."

Joey: "No, I'm serious, this is freaking me out and if I freeze up there then you gonna have to save my butt, too."

Mick: "That's not gonna happen."

Joey: "How d'you know?"

Mick: "'Cause I know you."

Joey: "Ah, good."
____________________________________________________________________________

Die beiden Brüder hängen im Fels.

Joey: "Some people do this for fun!"

Mick: "Yeah. I mean, next to this, five meter waves are about as exciting as your paddling pool when you were a kid."

Joey: "Oh, yeah, the one with the ducks."

Mick: "No, no there were dolphines on it. Your pajamas had the duckies on them. You still have them, don't you?

Joey: "No way!"

Mick: "Oh, yes, you do, I've seen them in the laundry. Or maybe that was your boxer shorts."

Joey: "No way.
Look, don't make me laugh, ok?"

Big Stakeout At Oxnard

Mick und Joey haben es auf eine asiatische Schutzgelderpresserbande abgesehen. In ihrem Team ist Stanley, Jays Neffe, den die Brüder in die Detektivarbeit einführen sollen. Eigentlich haben die beiden die Bande schon in der Tasche, als Stan sie ablenkt. Die Karatekas machen kurzen Prozess und kicken die Jungs k.o. Als sie sich wieder aufgerappelt haben, sind die Asiaten schon über alle Berge

Stan: "What just happened?"

Mick sauer: "You happened, Stan! I told you to stay back! What the hell did you think you were doing?!?"

Stan: "Oh, geez, Mick. You know, I figured I could help!"

Joey kalt: "You can help by going back to Holbooke."

Stan: "I'm from Brooklyn, actually..."

Joey schreit: "Whatever!!"

Stan: "Looks that Joe doesn't like me much, han?"

Mick: "Yeah, it's funny, you know. He gets that way when somebody kicks him in the face."

___________________________________________________________________________

Stan bringt sich und Joey in eine ziemlich unangenehme Situation. Sie sind umringt von Karatekämpfern.

Joey: "Stanley, do the words 'stand back and shut up' mean anything in Brookland?"

Stan: "Joe, do you think this is really a great time to be talking about this?"

___________________________________________________________________________

Mick will die Post von Kim, der Schwester eines der Schutzgelderpresser, durchsuchen. Joey hält Kontakt über den Knopf in Micks Ohr.

Joey: "Ok, the coast is clear, go in.
Have I ever told you you walk like a pregnant duck?"

___________________________________________________________________________

Stan soll in der Nacht das Haus von Kim observieren. Als Mick und Joey am Morgen in das verlassene Haus kommen ist es voll von Bierflaschen, Luftmatratzen und Mädchen. Und Stan schlafend mittendrin. Joey fackelt nicht lange und rammt seinen Autoschlüssel ins Stans aufbalsbaren Stuhl.

Stan fährt erschrocken hoch und schreit.

Joey eiskalt: "Having a nice little party, Stanley?"

Stan: "Yeah...you know...little party...I was gonna invite you, guys, you know, but I figured you needed your rest."

Mick platzt fast aber extra zuckersüss: "That's...that's very sweet, Stan, that's sweet. Now, would you mind getting all those people THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!

Stan: "Yeah, sure, no problem. Come on, everybody, chop, chop, party's over, here you go!"

Mick, vehement: "Out. Out!"

Stan: "Everybody out, everybody out, thanks for coming, drive carefully everybody, beautiful, beautiful, alright.
See, Mick? No problem. All gone."

Joey: "What about the girl?"

Mick schaut aus dem Fenster: "At least her car is still here!"

Stan: "Which one? Oh, the one who blew up my chair! You like her, han?"

Mick dreht fast durch: "No, the one across the street!! The one you were supposed to be watching!!!"

Stan: "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah! No, she never left the house! She was right there. Boum. All night."

Joey sarkastisch: "How would you know?"

Stan: "How would I know? Well, I've got what you call the fifth sense, you know. I see things haven't even happened yet."

Joey ironisch: "Yeah, like us coming through the door..."

Stan: "Yeah, yeah I knew that!

___________________________________________________________________________

Joey bricht bei Kim ein um eine heruntergefallene Wanze neu zu befestingen. Kim kommt zurück, Joey verkriecht sich unter ihrem Bett. Mick hat über den Knopf in Joey's Ohr und ein kleies Mikrophon an Joey's Shirt Kontakt mit seinem Bruder. Kim kommt ins Schlafzimmer.

Mick: "Hey, Joey, where are you? Joey! Joey, are you there? Can you hear me?"

Joey haucht: "Yeah, I can hear you. I have to call later."

Mick: "Where the hell are you?"

Joey: "You wouldn't believe me."

Mick: "Try me."

Joey: "I'm under her bed."

Mick lachend: "You're under her bed?!?"

Joey: "Hey, man, this isn't funny. She's right here."

Mick: "Yeah, I can see her perfectly."

Kim beginnt, sich auszuziehen. Joey bekommt einen Schuh ins Gesicht geschleudert.

Mick: "Oh, Joey, this is unbelievable! Now, you probably can't see this, but she's absolutely incredible. She's amazing!"

Joey: "Will you shut up!"

Mick: "Nonono, this isn't fair, man, you deserve to know what you're missing...
oh...oh...oh...oh yeah...
oh incredible man...oh beautiful, beautiful set-up...oh man, look at that waist...
oh, she is amazing."

Joey: "Mick, I'm gonna kill you."

Kim geht ins Badezimmer.

Mick: "Oh, oh, oh, she's even incredible from behind!"

Joey: "That's it! You get killed!"

Mick lacht. Dann: "Wait, wait, she's coming back! Look out!"

Kim trägt einen Bademantel. Das Telefon klingelt und sie spricht mit ihrem Bruder. Dann geht sie zur Tür hinaus. Joey beschliesst, sich in der Dusche in Sicherheit zu bringen.

Mick: "Joey, what's going on, you ok?...Hello?...Joey, where are you? Joey? You still under the bed?"

Joey: "No, I'm in the shower."

Mick trocken: "Ow...good choice!"

Kim kommt ins Badezimmer und stellt ohne hineinzusehen die Dusche an. Joey wird ziemlich nass.

Mick: "Man, that sounds like running water!"

Joey: "Will you shut up?"

Mick lachend: "You taking a shower?"

Joey traut sich aus der Dusche.

Joey: "Where is she?"

Mick: "I can't see her. I'm pretty sure she's downstairs."

Kim kommt zurück, Joey versteckt sich hinter der Tür.

Mick: "I still don't see her. She's got to be downstairs."

Kim lässt den Bademantel fallen, Joey schaut von seinem Versteck aus zu.

Mick: "I hear water. You still in the shower?"

Joey: "No."

Mick: "Then where are you? Oh! Oh, let me guess, she is in the shower!
GET OUTTA THERE!!!"

___________________________________________________________________________

Mick und Joey liegen nachts im verlassenen Haus gegenüber von Kims Wohnung und versuchen zu schlafen. Doch Stan schnarcht unerträglich.

Joey: "Man, he even snores with a Brooklyn accent!"

Mick streckt müde die Hand aus: "Shoe."

Joey zieht seinen Schuh aus und gibt ihn Mick: "Last one. Make it count."

Mick wirft in Stan an.

Joey: "Nice one!"

Mick: "Sounds like beautiful silence..."

A Stich in Time

Jay: "We're gonna going undercover."

Mick: "Undercover."

Jay: "Yeah, figure it out: I'm gonna be this...ahm...record ticoon who's got this young wife who wants him to go in for a make-off."

Joey: "Smart girl."

Mick prustet los.

Jay, unberührt: "Mick, you're gonna be my personal assitant. And Joey..."

Joey: "I'm not being your young wife!!"

Jay ausdrücklich: "No. They're looking for a physical trainer there. I got an interview for you for tomorrow morning."

Joey: "Ah."

Mick: "So who's playing the young wife?"

Jay: "Who's that girl you know, that blond girl, who's really great with computers?"

Mick: "Meg?"

Jay: "Yeah, Meg."

Mick: "She'd be crazy enough to do it."

_____________________________________________________________________________

Mick fährt den Wagen vor, steigt aus und geht in Richtung Beauty Farm. Jay klopft an die Autoscheibe.

Jay: "You're supposed to open the damned door."

Mick tut es.

Jay: "Thank you, Mickey."

Mick: "Don't - call - me - Mickey, alright?"

Eine Angestellte der Beautifarm erscheint: "Mr. Hubanks. I'm Rita Cancland. Welcome."

Jay: "Thank you, thank you. This is my lovely wife Meg and my personal assistant Mickey."

Rita: "Hello. I'll show you to your room."

Jay: "Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. Mickey, get the luggage."

Meg: "Honey, when you leave here you'll be just like a new man."

Mick leise zu Jay: "But...ahm...still old in the important places."

Joey kommt dazu, Mick trägt einen Aktenkoffer.

Jay: "Mickey, get all the luggage."

Joey kichernd: "Yeah, Mickey!"

_____________________________________________________________________________

Joey lockt Rita aus ihrem Büro, Mick und Meg durchsuchen es. Rita kommt zurück. Mick packt Meg und küsst sie.

Rita, halb sauer, halb amüsiert: "Excuse me. The synchronized breathing class is in room 245!"

Meg: "I'm so embarrassed!"

Joey: "Well I am very surprised!"

Mick, zerknirscht: "Ahm...look, I'm sorry...ahm...this is...I came in to use the phone and Mrs Hubanks followed me and...one thing led to another...and..."

Meg: "Well, it was just a little instant kiss..."

Rita: "If that was an instant kiss I hate to see...oh, never mind."

Joey: "This is shocking! The loving wife, the devoted employee...you two are to be ashamed of yourselfs!"

Meg: "Go ahead and tell them, honey."

Mick, ehlich verwirrt: "Tell them what?"

Joey: "Yeah, tell us what?"

Meg: "That we're in love. Madly. Wildly in love."

Mick unüberzeugt: "Wildly in love."

Rita: "Look, what you people do is your business. Just don't do that on my desk, ok?"

Joey: "Yeah!"

Mick: "Alright."

_____________________________________________________________________________

Rita kommt auf Joey, Mick, Jay und Meg zu.

Joey: "Oh, no. I haven't been looking forward to this."

Mick: "What?"

Joey: "Rita. I've got to give her the 'Let's-be-friends'-speech.
Well, hi Rita."

Rita: "Look, Joe, you're a really nice guy. But I just don't think we have much in common, so can we just be friends?"

Joey, völlig verblüfft: "Ok, sure...
Uuuh, that's what..."

Er geht zu den anderen zurück.

Meg: "Seems that she took it pretty well.

Mick: "Yeah! You're ok?"

Joey: "She gave me the 'Let's-be-friends'-speech! Nobody's ever given me the 'Let's-be-friends'-speech!"

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