Vom Mir

~!Sache von mich!~

If you want to believe it or not, everything contained herein was thought up by myself entirly. Where there is influence from another person or object, it will be given credit. If something had inspired me to write about it (experiences included), it will be placed in parenthesis before the main text.

(After watching much of the 2004 US Presidential Debate, I concluded that only this poem has as much truth in it than any other person's idea I had previously heard. It tells of naturalistic (nature's) ways of dealing with problems, but are not carried out by the American people, nor anyone else involved in anything that has to do with competion for the good of mankind. The following was originally a school assignment: to write a poem utilizing ten new vocabulary words that was coherent to one subject, which just happened to be what I felt the most strongly about at the time.)

Mein Gedicht �ber die amerikanische Pr�sidentenwahlwerbung

The Truth of America -

vom Zachary Shellenberger aus Amerika

Flashed on screen, bombastic claims,

Grotesque accusations, permeate my brain.

Callow Kerry, not truthful enough,

Laid-back Bush, not looking tough.

The drivel that's spat, through the TV,

The interlopers in our government, smiling at me.

False aplomb, their thoughts only surmised,

Becomes apparent, when you look into their eyes.

Exhortation, dowgrading the other,

While Osama bin Laden plans another.

Why not work together the way it's supposed to be,

No, they'd rather rip eachother apart, all over our country.

(This was written after visciously trying to break through security measures of two DVD's and one $10 computer video game...you can imagine my frustration?...EXACTLY.)

If the security of the entire United States of America depended upon terrorists cutting through the same plastic and removing the same security tape that CD's are wrapped in, they would say "Fuck Allah" (assuming they are waging holy war (jihad) for the Islamic faith) or "Fuck This" (if they are not waging holy war (jihad) for the Islamic faith) before they got through. (This statement comes from my own head...and is not meant to offend anyone. I am not racist. I do not have anything against Muslims, only those who wish to destroy lives, in which case I have included the latter half of the statement to show that this could be said of any insane person).

(This original idea was thought up after 4th period using Microsoft Access 2003 to create queries. I was very happy and hyper beforehand...post using of this software, I experienced severe depression for the remainder of the day.)

After a bad day working with my computer or any other type of technological uncertainty, I feel as if I had gone through a very bad relationship...perhaps Bill Gates should work on a "Yoga and Meditation for Windows Users" DVD to be distributed freely with each OS purchase. Speaking of this, I continue to wonder exactly how many people commit suicide purly for the reason of "unfriendly" technology.

How computers ARE like girlfriends and boyfriends:

When there is too much input, it refuses to respond.

Sometimes you have to reinstall the driver.

Sometimes the driver permanently fucks up the entire computer.

(For girls to preform on guys) Sometimes it needs to be slapped to respond.

If two wires are crossed it goes berzerk.

If it doesn't have a "firewall" and is out of it's normal boundaries (on the internet) it can get a virus and fuck up your life's work.

Losing it can cause you to lose your own mind.

"Working with it" (team work) usually isn't an option.

It will give you an error code that you have no way to decode or understand without substancial technological and/or previous knowledge.

If it gets overheated, it refuses to respond for several hours.

Sometimes a memory upgrade is required, especially after three years.

(For guys, because of girls) every item clicked and every file executed is stored on the hard-drive if you know it or not.

How a computer is NOT like a boy/girlfriend:

Unlike the partner, computers' system restore usually works.