Raging Storm

It was a boring Sunday afternoon. One of the very few cold days in San Diego. Joey watched the storm thundering outside. It was the worst storm they’d had in years. Everything was closed down and people had to stay inside, it was far too dangerous in the streets. The younger Barrett sighed and turned away from the window. They had been sticking inside for two days in a row now. San Diego had never seen such a lasting storm before. And what was worst: it wasn’t only him and Mick who were ‘imprisoned’ in the small apartment over the surf shop, no, they had Bob-O with them! The fat private investigator had turned up shortly before the storm really broke loose. He had wanted to get some information from Mick and then had not been able to get back home again. Joey could hear him whining for food in the kitchen and Mick snapping back. Joey grinned a little sourly. He and Bob-O had been yelling constantly at each other during the last two days. Mick had himself better under control, but he, too, was on the edge of his nerves. Bob-O sure was a pain in the butt.

Joey’s grin grew broader. He admired his older brother for his ability to stay calm in most situations. But when Mick lost his nerves it was much fun, especially if he didn’t shout at Joey but at Bob-O or Gordon.

The door from the kitchen into the living room flew open and Mick stomped in. Bob-O was waddling behind him, talking something about needing a chocolate muffin right now. Mick was fuming. Joey could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. It wouldn’t take long to the explosion. Joey chuckled secretly, then decided to try and calm the situation. As much as he liked to see cool Mick exploding, they would probably be stuck together for some more time and Mick losing his temper when you had nowhere to escape wasn’t the best option.

“Bob-O, knock it”, Joey said, forced cheerfully, “Chocolate muffins are kinda unhealthy. There’s a lot of chemical stuff in there. I heard they are cancer-causing.” Bob-O gave him a disgusted look. They very much disliked each other. “Oh, really? And how would you know?” he snapped. Joey took a deep breath to keep his temper in check and shrugged. “I’ve read.” “Oh, really? I didn’t know you could read as you haven’t even gone to school.” This made Joey ready to take off through the ceiling and Bob-O knew it. Joey had had to go off at the age of twelve because Mick couldn’t afford it any longer. Mick had then tutored his younger brother at home, but it had, for both brothers, been a painful experience. Mick took it even worse than Joey because he always felt he had failed on his kid brother somehow. Both brothers were very sensitive about that matter.

Joey stared disbelievingly at Bob-O, then opened his mouth to say something. But before he had found his voice, Mick had the fat detective by the collar and shoved him into the wall. “What…”he was so angry, his voice almost failed him. “What do you dare?!? He’s ten times as clever as you are!!!” Bob-O tried to get away, but Mick didn’t let go. “You ever, ever say something like this again, you’re dead.” Joey was startled when he heard the menace in his brother’s voice. Bob-O squirmed a little, but he saw no way out, so he let the bomb detonate: “What do you care, anyway? He’s not even your brother!”

After a second’s silence, Mick’s right fist connected with a sickening sound with Bob-O’s jaw, his left with his nose. Bob-O and Mick were both screaming and swearing, Mick hitting Bob-O hard, while Joey stood motionless, stunned, just looking at them. “What?” he managed at last. Then louder: “What??!?” Mick let go of Bob-O and slowly stood. “Joey…I…uh…” “It’s not true, isn’t it? He’s lying, isn’t he?” Joey’s voice sounded pleading. He already knew by the look on Mick’s face what the answer was. But he still hoped. Hoped that Mick would sort it out. Like he always did. He would hug him, telling him that it was alright, explain where Bob-O had gotten the idea from and everything would be back to normal. But Mick didn’t. Instead, he looked close to tears. “Joey…”

Joey felt his heart skip a beat and his lips began to tremble. It couldn’t be, could it? They didn’t look alike, Mick and him…but they were family…weren’t they? The full meaning of Bob-O’s words and Mick’s reaction slowly sank in. They weren’t… Mick reached out for his little brother’s arm, but Joey jerked away. “No!!!” He turned and ran. Through the living room, down the stairs, through the shop and out of the door. The strong wind almost knocked him over, but he managed to stay on his feet and ran on. He heard Mick shout after him, but he didn’t stop.

œ

Joey didn’t know for how long he had been running. A rock on the ground made him trip and next thing he knew he was lying flat on his back, trying to get some air.

The young Barrett sat slowly up and looked back. He had run along the sea until the broad beach gave way to rough cliffs. Joey only now noticed that he was freezing. He didn’t have a coat with him. The wind was howling, leaves and paper and sometimes even bigger objects flew through the air and the dark clouds were hanging dangerously deep. It looked as if it was going to rain. Maybe even a tornado? Joey knew how dangerous it was to be outside, espe­cially near the beach, with this weather. The radio warned of going out because of falling trees, flying objects and spring floods. Schools, train stations and most public buildings were closed.

“Damn it!” Joey swore while fighting to get up despite the strong wind which was almost knocking him over again. Where to go now? The surf shop was out of question. His only close friend, Ray, was living up in Phoenix. He didn’t meet his surfbuddies in private. Joey smiled bitterly. Yes, it was only him and Mick. Always had been. And now? Furiously, Joey stomped on to the cliffs. Maybe he could find some shelter there to think about how to go on.

Before he had reached the cliffs, the sky opened and the rain started to fall. Joey groaned. This sure didn’t raise his spirits! After he had stumbled along the cliffs for quite some time he finally reached a crack in the rock which more or less kept the rain outside. By now he didn’t know if the tears running down his face were really caused by the wind stinging in his eyes or rather by his fury and hurt.

Joey sat down at the farthest end of the crack and watched the raging sea. It matched the state of his soul. He felt so betrayed. Not Mick’s brother…not a Barrett at all…all his life he had proudly told everyone who would listen that he was a real Barrett…which he wasn’t. And everyone seemed to know, except for him! Even that git Bob-O did! Now suddenly so many things fit together. No wonder he was the only dark-haired in the family. No wonder, Mick had had such a hard time keeping him after their parent’s…his parent’s death. No wonder they had wanted to stick him into an orphanage. No wonder he hadn’t been a match when Mick had been shot back then…the doctor had given him a funny look but hadn’t said anything. But never had it occurred to him that this was the reason. It changed everything. Family had meant so much to him and now he had to find out that he hadn’t any. Shivering, Joey hugged his knees, lay his head on them und started to cry, feeling all lost and lonely.

                                                                           œ

Mick was furiously pacing the living room. Bob-O sat in a corner, whimpering. Mick turned on his heel. “Shut the hell UP!” he shouted in his most thundering voice. Bob-O winced, then began to quickly talk to himself in a very small voice: “It just slipped out, just slipped out, he kept provoking me for ages…” Mick brushed his fingers through his dark blond hair, then let his arm fall in despair and turned again to Bob-O. “Man, forget it. It’s my fault. I should have told him long ago. He had to find out one day. I should have told him. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” He sighed and tried to blink the tears away. “How did you know, anyway?” he then asked, a slightly disgusted undertone stressing the word ‘you’. Bob-O jumped at the unexpected direct question. “I…I’m a P.I., too, you know…” Mick nodded and began pacing again. After a few lengths he stopped in front of the window. Cold, heavy raindrops were pouring down now. The wind hadn’t lost any of its force and it looked very much as if it would turn into a real tornado.

“Damn it!” with that, Mick turned and grabbed his old leather jacket and Joey’s heavy raincoat, then he hurried into his own room and searched the wardrobe for his waterproof sports bag. Having found it, he stuffed Joey’s jacked and a woollen blanket into it, then, without another word to Bob-O, he left the house.

It was freezing cold outside and he had to fight against the deafening wind. In a matter of seconds he was wet to the bones. But he determinedly stomped on to the beach. There he turned left. Why he did so he didn’t know. It just seemed right.

It took Mick almost half an hour to get to the cliffs. The wind carried his shouts away long before they could have been heard by anyone. But he knew his little brother was here somewhere, he could feel it. Frantically he searched every crack and every hole and finally, after a seemingly endless search, he saw him, cowering shivering and crying in a crack which was hardly big enough for two men to sit in.

Mick wiped his own tears away and took a deep breath. He had been crying out of despair since he had left High Tide. Now he was to be strong and reasonable. He was the big brother. He had to sort it all out. Again.

After another deep breath he squeezed himself into the crack and touched Joey’s shoulder. Seeing the kid cry almost made his heart break. Joey jumped. His eyes widened when he recognized his brother, but he immediately tried to squirm away from his touch. Mick was glad there wasn’t more space. The kid could have easily run away again.

Mick let go of Joey’s shoulder and sat down beside him. “Running away doesn’t make it better”, he said softly, “especially not in this weather.” Joey shrugged and again buried his face between his knees. Mick sighed. “Look, kid, I’ve screwed that one up. I really did. I should’a told you long ago. I always wanted. But I’ve never had the guts. I’ve tried, really. But I’ve always backed out…guess that was the biggest mistake in my life.” Joey gave a muffled snort, then started sobbing again. Mick noticed that he was still trembling and got the coat out of his bag. He laid it over Joey’s shoulder and sat down against the wall. For a few moments he thought about how to continue. “It doesn’t really change anything for you, does it?” he finally asked hesitantly. “Not change anything???” Joey exploded immediately, “Not change anything?? Are you kidding??” He looked at Mick, furiously. “Just now I’ve been taken everything which ever mattered to me: my family! How can you say nothing changes? Everything’s gonna change. I don’t have a family!”

Mick held his breath. This one had hurt. “Does that damn blood mean so much to you?” He then quietly asked. “It certainly doesn’t to me. I’ve known it all along and you’ve been as much my brother as mom and dad have been my parents. As much as you could ever be. This little difference in the consistence of our blood and that stupid paper lying in dad’s old desk don’t mean anything to me.” Joey looked directly at his older brother, tears streaming down his face. “And why didn’t you tell me, then?” he demanded to know. Mick leaned his head against the wall. “Probably because I was afraid of this very reaction…” he sighed and looked at the younger man. “Gee, Joey, I love you like a brother. I always did and I always will. I chose my family with my heart. I don’t ask some meaningless paper what it says to that. I just hope that this damn sheet won’t tear us apart, because…because…I don’t think I could go on without you…” this last part had been barely audibly.

Joey wiped at his tears and thought about what he had just heard. Mick was right. Did what he knew now change anything about his feelings for his brother? No. Did others need to know? No. Mick had always presented him to everyone as his kidbrother. Never had there been any doubt that he was a Barrett. Why now? Nothing had changed for Mick, he had known all along. The only one who could now spoil their relationship was him, Joey, by not accepting the fact and feeling all sorry for himself.

Catching the entire meaning of the story, Joey felt an overwhelming love for his brother: nothing Mick had ever done for him had he been obliged to do. He could have easily pushed him away and gone on with his life. But he hadn’t. He had gone off school, taken on a job and fought for them both. Which showed what he really meant to Mick.

Spontaneously, Joey turned and caught Mick in a bear hug. Mick was somewhat taken aback at the sudden change in the younger one’s behaviour and it took him some time to react. Then he returned the hug. “Damn it, I already thought I had lost you”, he said, his voice hoarse with emotions and his head resting in Joey’s dark hair. Joey huddled closer. Mick began to laugh softly out of relief and it took him some time to realise that he had started to cry.

For a long while the brothers just sat there, enjoying the special bond they were sharing. “I’m so sorry”, Mick whispered at long last. Joey pulled back a little so he could look into his brother’s face. “I can’t really say it’s ok you didn’t tell me. But neither can we change that now. So let’s leave it, ok? I’d just like to know who I am, you know?”

Mick nodded and shifted a little so as to sit more comfortably against the wall. “It’s gonna be a long story”, he warned. Joey nodded at the downpour: “Guess we’ve got time.” Mick chuckled softly, then took off his wet jacket, pulled the woollen blanket out of his bag and draped it around his shoulders. Joey leaned against his brother’s chest, took hold of the ends of the blanket, pulled them tightly around himself and rested his head against his brother’s shoulder. Mick wrapped his arms around Joey and so they sat, facing the roaring storm. It was pretty cold but quite comfortable in their little hole compared to the outside. Mick took a deep breath. “Where am I to start?” he asked. “At the beginning?” Joey proposed dryly. Mick hugged him a little closer. “If you don’t stop cracking jokes I’m never gonna get started!...were was I?...oh, yeah, where do I begin…” he paused for a little while to concentrate, then he began to talk in a low voice.

“Mom and Dad always wanted two children. Both of them had been only-children and they wished for their own to have someone to play with. When I was born, they wanted the second kid right after, so the age-gap wouldn’t be too big. But somehow it shouldn’t be. Mom lost two other children and finally a doctor found out that something was wrong. I never really understood what, I mean I’m not that good with medical terms, especially not when it comes to women’s physiology. Anyway, it turned out that I was kind of a miracle. Mom had a hereditary defect which left her children deformed, usually not viable. They said it was an absolute coincidence that I was alright. So Mom and Dad had to leave it at me.

As you know, they both worked for the police. One day, I was about twelve, they boosted a smuggler boat coming from Cuba. There were lots of things smuggled, drugs and stuff. And among other things was a group of children to be sold in the US.”

Mick felt Joey stiffen at that. No wonder. “Me…” Joey’s statement was barely audible. Mick buried his face in his kidbrother’s hair and went on. “Yeah, you, too. They brought you all into a hospital and in no time had each kid’s parents located…well, all but one’s…” “Mine…”, Joey softly said and by now he was shivering slightly. Mick pulled him closer and continued to speak into his hair. “Yeah, yours. There was nothing wrong with you, no illnesses whatsoever. Mom and Dad were allowed to take you home until they had found your parents. And I…I fell in love with you the very first time I saw you…

œ

It had been a nice sunny day and Mick had spent it surfing with his friends. Now he was in the kitchen, preparing dinner. His parents had planned to be home at six, now it was close to half past seven. But he was used to them being late. They worked for the police and so were often delayed. He didn’t mind that. Sometimes he liked being on his own for a while, singing loudly to Beach Boy’s sound between turning pancakes.  He was halfway through an air-guitar solo when he saw his parents pulling up the driveway. He quickly turned off the hotplates and dashed for the door.

Allen Barrett got out of the car and walked around it to open the door for his blonde wife. “Hi Mom, Dad, dinner’s almost ready!” Mick jumped excitedly up and down, “you won’t believe it, Billy’s father gave me his old surfboard, it’s great, you’ve got to see it, it’s…” Mick stopped short when he noticed that his mother, who had just emerged from the car, was holding something in her arms. It looked like…it was a child!

“Hi, honey”, Mary Barrett greeted her son while walking up to him and giving him a single-armed hug. Mick didn’t take his eyes away from the dark-haired boy in his mother’s arms. “What’s that?” he demanded to know. “A little boy.” Mary smiled and kneeled down beside Mick so he could take a better look. “He’s staying with us until we have found his parents.” Mick looked in awe at the small boy sucking his thumb. He liked children. Unlike his buddies he didn’t mind Billy’s four-year old brother hanging around with them. And this child couldn’t be more than two years old.

The child turned his head and big brown eyes met Mick’s. “Oh, he’s cute”, Mick whispered, bringing his hand up and stroking the boy’s hair. The child took his thumb out of his mouth and grabbed Mick’s small finger. “He likes you”, Mary said. Mick laughed. “I like him, too. Maybe we could keep him?” Now it was Mary’s turn to laugh. “I don’t think so, honey! But you may carry him inside, if you want.” Mick grinned. “Guess I have to, he won’t let go of my finger!

Later that evening, Mick sat on his bed, reading a book to the babbling boy sitting in his lap. He had been inseparable from the child all evening. He just wished it was his little brother. He had always wanted to have one. And this boy would be perfect as a brother, he just felt it. Mick turned the last page and closed the book. “…and so they lived happily ever after.” The child giggled and Mick hugged him a little. “You don’t understand one word of what I’m saying, do you?” he asked. The boy stood and started to jump up and down on the bed. “Hey, stop that”, Mick ordered, “Mom’s not gonna like this. You’re supposed to be sleeping when I’ve finished this story.” The boy giggled a little more and babbled something Mick didn’t understand. “Hey, come here now!” Mick extended his arms and the child willingly sat back on the older one’s lap again. “You need a name, you know? I can’t keep calling you ‘hey’!” ”Boueey!” the boy shouted. “Boueey? What a name is that?” Mick laughed, but suddenly stopped. “Hey, what about Joey? Would be a nice name, don’t you think? I’ll call you Joey. Well, Joey, time to go to sleep!”

œ

Mick paused for a while, thinking back to that evening so many years ago. Joey chuckled a little and Mick lifted his head so Joey could crane his neck to look at his older brother. “So you are the one to blame for my name?” Mick grinned. “Joey is a cute name.” Joey grimaced. “That’s the point, Mick! It’s cute! Cute for a baby kangaroo or a dog, but not for a man! I’m grown now but I will never get rid of the ‘y’!” “Baby kangaroos? I think it’s a name just perfect for my baby brother.” “You think you’d like it if everyone would be calling you Mickey?” “As a matter of fact, I’m no one’s baby brother.” “A-ha-ha”, Joey said sardonically, leaning his head back against his brother’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but smile. To be honest, he didn’t mind Mick calling him ‘Joey’. He always tried to get others to call him ‘Joe’, but Mick was a different story.

“So they never found my parents”, Joey stated quietly, getting back to what they were really discussing. “No, thank God”, Mick’s answer was barely a whisper. It took him a while to realize what had just slipped from his mouth, then he froze. “I mean…I don’t say…I…I…” Joey grinned slightly. “It’s ok, no problem.” He couldn’t help wondering if he, too, was glad or rather sorry about that fact. Mick sighed and continued his story.

“Time went by and they couldn’t find your family. We really got used to you. And though they continued looking, our parents started to wish, as I did, that they would never locate anyone from your real family.”

œ

Mick banged the door shut, threw his school bag into the corner and took off his jacket. “I’m back!” he shouted. Before he could get rid of his shoes a dark-haired little boy came running at full-speed through the hallway. Mick caught him and swung him through the air. “Mick”, the boy giggled, hugging the older one’s neck. “Mickmickmickmickmick!” Mick affectionately tousled the boy’s head, then sat him back on the ground. “Hi, kid, had a good day?” the three-year-old flashed him a bright smile, then grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen, where Mary Barrett was already waiting with milk and cookies.

Little Joey had been with them for almost one year now and practically belonged to the family. The boy didn’t talk much yet, but he seemed to feel at ease with his new family and enjoyed spending time with his big brother. Mick feared the day of the child’s possible departure more than anything. He couldn’t imagine coming home and not finding Joey waiting for him. They had taken the day of Joey’s arrival in their family as his second birthday and he was now approaching his third.

“Go out, play ball?” the little boy asked, having hardly swallowed his last piece of cookie. Mick wasn’t done yet, he had been telling his mother about his day at school. Mick laughed. “Ok, kid, you go, get the ball out of the garage and wait in the garden. I’ll be with you as soon as I’ve finished here.” With a fond smile, Mick watched the child dashing out of the room. Mary caught that smile. She knew about the special relationship between “her” boys. “The detectives have almost given up finding his parents”, she said quietly. Mick gaped at her open-mouthed. “Meaning we can keep him?!?” She stroked over his blond hair. “Don’t be too hopeful, honey. They said they will soon stop their searching. But that doesn’t mean we can keep him. We are only his foster-family. Maybe they won’t let us adopt him. There are lots of laws and restrictions in adoption-cases.” Mick was alarmed. “But you want him, too, don’t you? You’ll fight for him?” Mary couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, of course we will. We will fight for all we are worth.”

œ

Three months later Mick, wearing a suit and a tie, was sitting on a bench outside a court room, Joey on one side, a woman from the youth welfare department on the other. Inside, his parents were being interrogated about the case and their family life. He nervously chewed his lower lip. In there they were deciding about Joey’s life and he had to wait out here! Joey looked up at him with big, hazel eyes. “Stay with you”, he said and Mick laid a protecting arm around the little boy’s shoulders and pulled him close. “It’s gonna be ok”, he said, more to calm himself then the boy who hid his face in Mick’s jacket.

An hour later, Mary and Allen Barrett stepped out of the courtroom. Mick immediately stood, lifting Joey up and holding him close. He wouldn’t give him away. Never. No way. They wouldn’t take the boy from him, he would fight. He would run away, if necessary. He would…

He watched his parents politely shaking hands with the lawyer and readied himself for whatever was to come. His father turned and laid a hand on Joey’s head. The boy held fearfully onto Mick. He didn’t really understand what was going on, he just knew that maybe he had to leave those people. “Welcome to the family, Joey”, Allan said warmly, and laying his other hand on his older son’s back he added: “Let’s go home, boys.” Mick stared at him for a second, then let out a whoop and started dancing around with the child in his arms. His parents watched them fondly and waited patiently until Mick had calmed down somewhat and allowed them to hug both boys.

Mick was carrying Joey out of the building. The little boy was now very sleepy and lay heavy on Mick’s chest. But he didn’t care. “We are real brothers, now” he told the half sleeping boy, “real brothers. You know what brothers are, don’t you? I’m gonna teach you ride a bicycle and surfing and play football and drive a car and…and…just everything!” After a short pause he added: “And I’ll always be your big brother. I’ll always protect you and I’ll always be there for you when you need someone to listen or to act. I promise.” Gently he kissed the dark-haired boy on the temple.

œ

Joey had tears in his eyes. “And you kept it”, he said. Mick seemed to come back from some place very far away. “What?” he asked, somewhat confused. “You kept your promise”, Joey repeated, you’ve always been there for me.” They sat in silence for a little while. “I’m sorry about my reaction”, Joey then said, “I’ve been so stupid. You’re right. Family is nothing about blood. It’s about how you feel.” Mick didn’t answer and after a while Joey went on: “It’s just strange that I can’t remember.” “Humans tend to lock not-so-great memories in the back of their head until they are forgotten”, Mick explained, “Guess it’s kind of a protection mechanism. But nothing which has happened is your fault. Nor mine. Let’s just say it was bad circumstances and forget about it. What happened today, of course. You don’t need to forget what I’ve told you…hell, I’m talking some rubbish.” “Don’t you always?” Joey couldn’t help but tease. Then he grew serious again. “Listen, I don’t think I can ever say ‘thank you’ for what you’ve done for me over the years. I just want you to know that I am thankful. That you really mean a lot to me and that…hell, yeah, that I love you.” Joey turned and gave Mick a heartfelt hug. He didn’t hear the older man whisper when he returned the hug: “For nothing, kid, for nothing. Thanks for being the light which brightens my every day. I would have never managed life without you…”