Something Stupid
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title: "Something Stupid" author: Darla Kane e-mail: DarlaB@gmx.de summary: "And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'." pairing: C/A rating: G spoilers: none disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made. The song "Something Stupid" belongs to Frank Sinatra. distribution: Nothing Fancy, AA&F, AI feedback: Need it - like a poet needs the rain, like the seasons need to change... :) notes: This is something silly that came to my mind when I listened to "Something Stupid" today, which filled my head will all those little pictures that I just had to put into a story. I think it takes place in season 3 - but I suppose it could as well be in any other season (apart from s4 that is). Oh, and for those who know my love for angst - somehow it's gone hiding for now. No angst - just the beauty that was and still is C/A. *g* Part 1 I know I stand in line Until you think you have the time To spend an evening with me "I can't believe she actually said yes," Angel was muttering to himself while trying to find the right clothes to wear. Black, black, black... He couldn't wear something black when he was going out with Cordelia Chase. Where was that beige sweater she had given him for Christmas? He felt like a stupid schoolboy - and nervous like hell. Of course he had to remind himself that this wasn't a "date" per se. He was just taking out his best friend to cheer her up and make her forget about that horrible date she had the night before. Also horrible for him, by the way. He had been on edge the whole evening, waiting for her to come back to the hotel. Pacing through the lobby for hours, he occasionaly noticed a knowing smirk on Fred's face. What was there to know anyway? He had just been worried. Cordy told him she had met this guy only two days before at Ralph's right around the corner from her apartment and he had asked her out by the time they reached the check-out counter. As far as Angel was concerned he could as well be some psycho... or... or... a slime demon disguised as a man. An "attractive, young and handsome man" - that was what Cordy had described him. He growled at the memory. Alright, he *was* jealous. But still he had almost felt bad about being glad that her evening hadn't been nowhere near as great as she had expected. Angel's eyes wandered to the clock on his wall and with a shock he realized he just had twenty more minutes to get ready till Cordelia would show up. Grabbing the sweater he had been looking for earlier from the top shelf of his closet, he hurried off into the bathroom. * * * And if we go some place to dance I know that there's a chance You won't be leaving with me This was hell. Real hell. At least it should be hell - but no way an angel like Cordelia could end up in hell. So they really just were at a local club. He knew he shouldn't have let *her* pick the place to go. And how had she gotten him on the dancefloor by the way? He just remembered that she flashed him one of her bright smiles, batted her eyelashes... and next thing he knew was that he was dancing with her. Or whatever you could call his strange movements. Cordy was highly amused that it already took all his coordination skills not to trip on her feet, which was why she had taken the lead. And he actually started to enjoy it. But something he didn't enjoy were the looks the men around them gave her. She didn't seem to be aware of the effect she had on them nor how many guys were staring at her but Angel definitely was. And he shot every single one an icy glare that made them turn away immediately. No way anyone would steal her away from him tonight. Even though they were just here as friends... * * * And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all By saying something stupid Like 'I love you' They had already been on their way home when Cordelia had spotted a cute little place and they decided to have a drink there. The night was still young after all. So they were sitting at a small table in the corner of this cafe... and had he already mentioned how beautiful she looked tonight? It sort of reminded him of that evening when they had all gone out to celebrate her first big commercial. Curly hair and a dress that took his breath away - if he had to breathe that was. "Stop staring at me, you big dork," she had teased him with a smile when she arrived at the Hyperion earlier tonight. All of a sudden he had felt under-dressed but Cordy assured him he looked just fine. And she hadn't failed to notice his sweater. Good choice on his part then. Anyway, they had been there talking for quite a while already now when he once again couldn't help but gaze at her and admire her beauty. Before he thought better of it, he had already blurted it out, "I love you, Cordelia." Way to go, Champ. * * * Part 2 I can see it in your eyes That you despise the same old lies You heard the night before "And then he told me that he loved me. Bang! Without a warning! Can you believe that? I mean you don't tell someone on your very first date that you love him, right?" Cordy still seemed truely stunned. I mean, what was he thinking? That I'd fall into his arms and tell him I love him, too? How stupid can a guy be? Hello? It was just a date - no vows of commitment or anything. Talk about scaring a girl away, I can tell ya." It was clearly visible that Cordy hadn't taken that announcement well. "Angel, are you even listening to me?" That got him back to reality. "Hm?" "Anyway, I'm so not gonna see Josh again. That's for sure." Josh. Right. She was talking about her date last night. Not him. Thank God! For a moment he thought he had just confessed his feelings to her. What was this woman doing to him that he started daydreaming when he just looked at her eyes? He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if he had really told her. The same anger directed at Josh right now would have hit him. Probably she wouldn't even talk to him anymore for the rest of his undead existence. Alright, he was exaggerating. He already heard her voice in his head calling him a drama queen, which made him smile a little. "What are you smiling about?" "Me? Well, I... I just..." Right then that little voice from before was laughing at him and calling him a dork - again. Now she was even teasing him in his thoughts. And the real Cordelia in front of him started grinning, too, waiting for his reply. "I was just thinking that you are right. About the whole Josh thing." That had been close. She nodded. "Pfft! Sure I am. What did you think?" And once more she gave him a smile that made his knees go weak. * * * And though it's just a line to you For me it's true And never seemed so right before It had gotten pretty late by the time they left the cafe and they had had a couple more drinks, which gave him a good reason to insist on driving her home. The ride was way too short and he already dreaded the end of this wonderful evening. For him it felt like the closest he could get to perfect happiness without endangering anybody. It was amazing how she could make him feel this way - make him feel normal. Not like the guilty and brooding creature he usually was. A long time ago he had already realized that she was the one who brought the light into his dark existence and forced him to open up whenever he was about to get sucked back in. She really made him feel alive, accepted him the way he was... and he loved her just the more for that. He had spent so long denying how he felt about her but every day it became more clear to him. He was madly in love with this woman. "So... I think I'm gonna go inside now, okay? Dennis will already be waiting for me." "Guess so." More than anything he wanted to sweep her off her feet and tell her that he loved her. "Night, Angel." She was about to open the door when she turned around again. "And Angel?" He looked up. "Thank you for tonight." She gave him a small kiss on his cheek. "Love you." Then she was gone. And for a long time Angel still stood there, right outside her apartment - a hand on the cheek where Cordelia had just kissed him. * * * Part 3 I practice every day To find some clever lines to say To make the meaning come true Angel was following his favorite pastime. One he had developed just recently... watching Cordelia. She was working on her computer while he sat in the lobby pretending to read one of Wesley's dusty old books as she had so often called them. But the truth was he couldn't concentrate on a single word. Without her noticing he looked up from time to time and tried hard to fight the urge to keep staring at her. Somehow it got harder each day not to tell her how he felt about her. But how should he tell his best friend that he was in love with her? Some part of him knew he wouldn't lose her even if she didn't return his feelings, which was probably the case. But on the other hand he couldn't help but be afraid. What if he *did* lose her about something like this? Or what if she actually loved him, too? In fact, he didn't quite know which scenario was scarier... Fred kept whispering "kye-rumption" and "moira" every time she caught him gazing at Cordelia, and Lorne didn't let the subject drop, either. By now he reminded him on a daily basis to talk to her. And he knew his friend was right. He didn't really believe in all this moira stuff but his unbeating heart told him that *this* was right, *this* was real... and his love for her wouldn't just fade away by brooding. His eyes wandered back to Cordy right when she looked over to where he was sitting and flashed him a smile before turning back to the computer screen. And once again he felt those butterflies in his stomach. Wasn't it funny? The former Scourge of Europe couldn't even work up the courage to tell a girl that he loved her. Angelus would probably laugh at him for being such a coward. But this wasn't exactly easy, right? Yesterday, after another one of those highly melodramatic talks with Lorne, he had indeed decided to finally tell her. Instead of sleeping he had spent all morning figuring out what to say. "Cordy, I know you'll probably think I've lost my mind but I'm in love with you." "Cordy, don't stake me when I say this: I love you." "Cordy, you've been my best friend for so long but I can't help thinking I fell in love with you." If he had a reflection, he probably would have practiced in front of a mirror. But none of those lines seemed right anyway. She'd probably start laughing. He ended up thinking that he should just go for a simple "I love you, Cordy." 'Cause that was what he did, right? Shouldn't be too hard... Turned out it was. Several hours had already passed since he came downstairs. And still - nothing. He should just get over there and finally spit it out. He *really* should. "What's up, broody?" He almost jumped. While contemplating what to do, he had gotten so lost in his reverie that he hadn't even noticed her until she sat down beside him. Come on, Angel. This is your chance. "I've been thinking..." Okay, no "I love you" right away but it was a start. Cordy gave him one of her best "Duh!" impressions. "So I noticed..." And if she only stopped looking at him like that he might even be able to form some coherent thoughts. "It's just..." He took a deep unneeded breath. "I meant to talk to you about this for quite a while now..." If she had any idea where this line of discussion was going, her hazel eyes definitely didn't show it. Another deep breath before he continued, "Cordy, I..." "Hey guys, we're back." came Fred's cheerful voice from the staircase with Gunn and Wesley close behind. He sighed. Damn timing. * * * Part 4 But then I think I'll wait Until the evening gets late And I'm alone with you Everybody had already left, even Fred went along to Gunn's place when he had mentioned that there was a new Taco Bell just around the block. So it was just him... and Cordelia. A smile tugged at Angel's lips. He liked that thought - though he was kind of wondering what made her stay so long instead of heading home. But who was he to complain? His mind wandered off while he glanced around the courtyard. The jasmines were blooming and the moonlight made them shimmer. Maybe they should finally call someone to get that old fountain to work again. It would definitely add to the romantic atmosphere of the place. Not that it wasn't romantic enough already. When he looked back to the steps leading down to where he was, Cordelia stood there in all her beauty. She would probably object to that because her hair was all fuzzy, almost no make up and she wore comfy clothes. Wait? Wasn't that one of his sweaters she was wearing? * * * The time is right Your perfume fills my head The stars get red And oh, the night's so blue "Tada!" she exclaimed proudly. "I'm done with filing. Actually, I'm even done with refiling some of the older cases. It's all shiny and new. Wes owes me big time..." The vampire couldn't help but comment on that, grinning. "You're sure he's still gonna find everything he needs?" She slapped him playfully while sitting down beside him and teased, "Hey Mister, next time *you* can spend the whole evening with that while everyone is out having fun." A moment of silence fell between them and Cordy noticed her friend seemed pretty preoccupied with his shoes. "You do realize that you're awfully quiet today - even for your standards?" Angel looked at her, a little dumbfounded. "There's just some... stuff... important stuff... I'm still thinking about..." "Such as?" No way she was going to let this just drop now. When she noticed him fidgeting, she continued, "Such as what you've been brooding about in the lobby earlier tonight? He nodded but didn't elaborate further. Slowly he was feeling more and more uncomfortable with the direction this talk was taking. Some hours ago he had been determined to tell her how he felt - but now with her hazel eyes on him he just couldn't get the words out once again. Even though he couldn't think of a more perfect moment - with the stars shining down on them from a deep blue sky. He didn't look at her but smelled her sweet perfume... a touch of cinnamon... It always reminded him of her. It was just... Cordelia. His Cordy. Said Cordy jumped up in frustration in that very moment. "For God's sake, Angel, spit it out finally!" A bit shocked thanks to her outburst he looked at her again. Their eyes locked and instead of the fury he expected to find there he saw something else - though he wasn't quite certain what. "I love you, too, dumbass. See? It's not that hard at all." Angel's stunned expression reminded her of a fish and she did her best not to laugh. But he was more or less oblivious to that. Her words just kept racing through his mind. Did she just say what I think she said? This can't be... He hadn't realized that he said the last sentence out loud until Cordelia responded. "Yes, it can. And how do I know that's what you've been comtemplating about? I'm your seer, remember?" Now she smiled at him and couldn't really hide her amusement any longer. That look on his face was still priceless. Definitely a Kodak moment. Then he tentatively started to return her smile. "You're sure about this? You and me? Us, I mean..." he rambled. "Yup, positive... now stop stammering and kiss me already, will you?" Her face just inches away from his now. He slowly bent over to her and shortly before their lips touched, he whispered, "I love you, Cordy." "Finally," she chuckled and then they kissed... * * * And then I go and spoil it all By saying something stupid Like 'I love you' I love you