Different Lives
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title: "Different Lives" author: Darla Kane e-mail: DarlaB@gmx.de distribution: AA&F & NF for now... rating: jeez... I'd say G (also for now) summary: Ever woken up and felt like nothing's gonna be the same again? spoilers: none - it starts shortly after "Disharmony" and if it goes as planned will continue on up to early season 3, I guess disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made. feedback: I'll cry if you don't tell me what you think about it... :) A/N: Thanks to United for a great 10-hour-flight! This story wouldn't have crossed my mind without it. *g* Chapter 1 (Prologue) It was 10 AM and Cordelia was still in bed - in a land somewhere between slowly waking up and still clinging to sweet dreams. Last night had been great. It had finally made her forget about all that sorrow Angel and his 'beige period' had made her feel and how much he had hurt her. Though he had already given her all these fantastic clothes that she simply *loved*, he had insisted on inviting her over for dinner yesterday. She had wanted to say 'no' at first but damn that puppy eyes look of his. Besides, she knew he still felt pretty bad about his behavior the last few weeks - especially towards her. So she had agreed and they really had a wonderful evening. Angel had cooked one of his delicious meals and even after all this time it still amazed her that someone who didn't eat could be such a good cook. Later they had watched some Charlton Heston movie and she had desperately tried to convince him how boring it was. Actually, they hadn't payed much attention to it anyhow. They had been talking, laughing... and it finally felt like nothing had ever almost broken up their friendship. In the end Angel had even opened a bottle of wine and after a while it made her feel a little bit dizzy... and sleepy. Speaking of sleepy, she still didn't want to get up so Cordelia snuggled deeper into the covers when she suddenly realized that her head wasn't resting on her pillow - but on a definitely manly chest. She jerked wide awake, jumped out of bed and wrapped the blanket around her naked body. Awoken bei her sudden reaction the man asked in a still sleepy voice, "What's up?" Cordy tried to make some sense of this situation and to remember what had happened last night but failed. Her memory went as far as sitting on the couch with Angel and then blank... Angel slowly sat up and looked at Cordelia with concerned eyes. "Everything alright?" She just shook her head. "This can't be happening." He didn't know what was wrong with her but he hadn't expected this sort of outburst. Alright, they had both been drunk last night and maybe they shouldn't have gone this far. But why did she seem so scared? He got up and wanted to take her into his arms to soothe her but she just backed away. "Don't come any closer." Her voice was kinda shaky but she couldn't help it. She tried to get dressed and just wanted to run out of this room as long as she still had the chance. Who knows when he would get all homicidal and kill her off? He still didn't understand a thing that was happening right now. One moment the most beautiful woman he had ever seen had been lying in his bed and the next she looked at him as if he was some kind of monster. He got a hold of her shoulders and stopped her from leaving. "Snap out of it, Cordy! What the hell's wrong with you? Talk to me." Suddenly she noticed the morning sunlight filling the room and the rising and falling of his chest. Could this get any weirder? She felt as if she had lost the ability to form any logical thought right now. Slowly she realized that this place didn't look like a room at the Hyperion, either. Boy, she so needed to get out of here. "I'm sorry, Angel. I just... I need to go." And with that she practically ran outside and left a very confused man behind. Chapter 2 Cordelia was glad when she finally arrived at her apartment. All the way she had been thinking about how she ended up in this mess and what in the world she had missed last night. She couldn't have been drunk enough to not notice Angel turning human and taking her some place, right? Nah! Or could she? It was the only reasonable explanation she could come up with. Well, maybe that was what had happened - as unbelievable as it may seem. They had a good time yesterday and maybe those weird Powers That Be had finally seen it fit to grand Angel his shanshu. Then the two of them went some place to celebrate and kinda got carried away. That had to be it. But no... There should have been an apocalypse first, right? No way, she would have forgotten that - even drunk! And in the past weeks Angel really hadn't been that much about saving the world thanks to some cheap blonde who screwed him over. Not literally, of course. That's what they had done last night. At least that was what she assumed - she really couldn't remember anything of it. "What a shame! I bet Angel's a skilled lover...," she thought to herself. "Hell, what are you thinking, Cordelia! Stop it! He's your friend and co-worker, god dammit!" This was making her crazy. Now she was even thinking about Angel *that* way. Damn him! If she had been too drunk to prevent *anything* from happening between them, he should have! What had happened to his noble gentleman-ness? Nope, she had no right to put all the blame on him - especially when she didn't even know how things had come about. She sighed. This was way too much to start a day. She really needed to relax a little and start things fresh. A nice bath would be fine to forget all this for at least a while. So she finally opened the door and put her bag on the couch.. "Hey Dennis. I'm back." No sign that he had heard her. "Dennis?" Great! Now her roommate was mad at her for not coming home last night. Why did dead guys have this tendency to always take things personally? "Don't act like a baby, Dennis. I'm sorry I didn't call and got you worried. But here I am - right as rain. See?" Still no reply. "Dennis?" This was getting eerie. Dennis could be quiet when he was angry at her but right now it felt as if he wasn't even there at all. "Wonderful! Even my ghost abandons me!" Something was very wrong... and she'd better think fast and find out before things got any weirder. Maybe she should call Wesley. He was always good with books and such. He would know what to do. She had almost dialed his number, when she thought better of it suddenly and put down the receiver. "Yeah right, Cordy! Call Wes and tell him you slept with Angel and things seem a little confusing now. That will give him a heartattack in *no* time." Maybe it would be best to write everything down first and get her thoughts together. Probably she was just freaking out about nothing. So she went to the bedroom, took her diary out of the drawer and sat down on the bed, ready to write. Skipping through some of the pages she suddenly noticed something and stopped. "What the hell...," she mumbled and started reading. Chapter 3 "Wow," was the only thing that came to mind after she had finished reading. She'd spent the last couple of hours going through her diary and even read some passages of the previous one. Though it was her handwriting and the events decribed were "sort of" like she remembered them, she'd been right to think that something was completely wrong. The main things she had noticed were that Angel was human and demons in general weren't mentioned at all - which was kinda weird considering she had to face them everyday. In fact, it seemed like all her entries were altered as if demons didn't exist. And that had been what got her thinking. She couldn't help but remember when she'd made a wish in Sunnydale and ended up in Bizarro Land - at least that had been what Anya told them later. Well... so alternate universes did exist. And this definitely felt like one. Now the question was how had she gotten here and - more importantly - how the hell could she get back? Suddenly there was a knock on the door but it took her a while to fully register it. The knocking got louder and she heard a voice saying, "Cordy, it's me. Please open the door." Angel... Great! As if she didn't have enough problems already. Anyway, she was an actress after all. She could do it, right? "In a minute," she called and put everything back in the drawer before she went to answer the door. She just opened it a little. "What is it?" she asked, guessing she'd better not wanna know about it. "Can I come in first?" She let him enter and both of them sat down on the couch. It took him a moment till he started to speak and Cordelia noticed the same insecurity in his eyes that she knew from "her" Angel when it came to emotional matters. "Just spill already, okay?" Angel hesistated for another second. "I came here to talk to you... about last night." There was an awkward silence in the room now. She wished she knew what to say but how could she reply anything if she didn't even remember? She just hoped she would be able to play along. "Last night, huh?" Angel nodded. "I'm sorry. I mean... well," he was searching for the right words to say. "Alright, we got carried away last night and maybe it shouldn't have happened. I know... But you really scared me the way you ran off this morning..." Before he had the chance to continue, Cordy stopped him. She figured she'd just try to stay as close to the truth as possible. "I didn't mean to. It just got a little too much, you know? I'm not actually used to waking up in bed with my best friend..." Angel looked at her questioningly. "So you still think of me that way?" "What way?" Cordelia replied, slightly confused. "As your best friend?" She was too stunned to answer immediately so Angel went on. "Things have been so strained lately and I know it's been my fault... I just... I just finally felt I got you back and I don't wanna lose you over what we did yesterday..." And almost inaudible he added, "Not again." But Cordy didn't miss it and her heart broke for him when she saw that look on his face. Vamp Angel or human Angel... They both seemed to love to put all the blame on themselves - and on themselves only. She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm too big of a person to let something like that get between our friendship. You know that, don't you?" She looked straight at him to make him realize that she meant it. "Let's just forget about it, alright?" "Easy. You don't remember what happened anyway," she thought to herself. "Okay," he replied and gave her a hug so she wouldn't be able to keep studying his eyes anymore. How come this girl could read him like an open book? And right now he didn't want her to see what was going on inside him. Of course, he was relieved that she didn't make another scene as he had feared or simply kicked him out immediately. He couldn't lose her again. He'd been serious about that. But he wouldn't be able to "just forget" last night, either. It might have been wrong but he couldn't really regret it because it had finally made him realize what a wonderful woman she had become... and that there might be a bit more than just friendship he felt for her. Didn't she feel that, too? Well, it certainly didn't look as if that was the case. But how could he expect her to return his feelings when he wasn't even sure about them himself? Maybe he was just confused... Slowly he let go of her. "So... you're coming to work today after all?" "Work?" Dammit! Sure, she was still working at their agency. She had almost forgotten that. "Of course, work... Sorry, it's been quite a morning." "So you're coming? I have to get back now anyhow before Wesley rips my head off for being late. I could take you along." "That'd be nice," she answered but thinking to herself, "That's gonna be fun with everything you have to keep in mind. Now you can *really* prove you're an actress." "Then let's go." TBC