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Mr. Mistoffelees
You ought ask Mr. Mistoffelees,
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffolees Conjuring Turn.
And you'll all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail.
He can creep through the tiniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail.
He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice.
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice.
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste.
And if you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced.
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone!
But you find it next week lying on the lawn.
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
My manner is vague and aloof.
You would think there was nobody shyer,
But voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And have sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof.
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call me in from the garden for hours
While I was asleep in the hall.
And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffolees!
Memory
Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading.
Roses wither away.
Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn.
I am waiting for the day.
Now Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife,
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle Life.
Memory, turn your face to the moonlight.
Let your memory lead you.
Open up, enter in
And if you find there the meaning of what happiness is,
Then a new life will begin.
Memory, all alone in the moonlight.
I can smile at the old days.
I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.
Burnt out ends of smokey days.
The stale cold smell of morning.
The streetlamp dies, another night is over and
Another day is dawning.
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise.
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in.
When the dawn comes,
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin.
Sunlight, through the trees in the summer.
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking.
The memory is fading.
Touch me, it's so easy to leave me.
All alone with the memory of my days in the sun.
If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is.
Look, a new day has begun.
Memory
Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember a time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Every streetlamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters in the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smokey days
The stale, cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies
Another night is over
Another day is dawning
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun
The Journey to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel.
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel.
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel.
Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel.
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside layer.
Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon.
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Jellicle moon.
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity.
Round the cathedral rang 'Vivat'.
Life to the everlasting cat!
The Ad-dressing of Cats
You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you.
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names,
Our habits and habitat,
But how would you ad-dress a cat?
So first, your memory I'll jog.
And say: a cat is not a dog.
So first, your memory I'll jog.
And say: a cat is not a dog.
With cats, some say one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that.
I say you should ad-dress a cat,
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity.
You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form, "O' Cat!"
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
A little token of esteem is needed like a dish of cream.
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Straussburg pie.
Some potted grouse or salmon paste.
He's sure to have his personal taste.
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name.
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this and that is that.
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this and that is that.
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.