My Computer Related Poetry

Ok, here are some of my poems. Actually I did the first one on my 22nd birthday. I got my inspiration from another site where you can find all sorts of funny sketches about computers. This one is a poetic version of one of the sketches:

There once was a girl, let�s call her Celine.
She installed a programme with speech built in.
She did as she was told and the programme began.
Celine thought �I am gonna make it then.�
The programme went on and it started acting strange.
Celine wondered �what�s wrong? I�ve never seen such a change.�
The software deleted everything Celine had done.
She cried out in dark despair �all of my files are gone!�
The software called her a loser and she broke out in despair.
�why does this have to happen to me. The world is so unfair!�
She never got any support and was left by herself all alone.
And the moral of this little poem: Never install a programme on your own!

The next one is how the story could have ended if Celine had called the customer support...

Now, let us imagine another situation.
Celine calls the service due to the discrimination
That this programme has done
And her files are all gone.
Celine dials the number and of course 30 minutes she has to wait.
She thinks �well, I will end this call now for it�s really getting late.�
But at that moment her call is answered and she asks the agent what to do.
�We have never heard of this before. I think what you�re telling cannot be true.�
�But believe me� she cried out �the software called me a loser.�
�I�m sure you must have done something wrong, you silly idiot of a user.�
�But what in heaven!� She cried out in deep dark depression and despair.
�It was you who installed the programme. So it was right of your computer not to care!�
she crashes down the phone and her desperate cry echoes along the landscape
and is heard one million miles away.
She thinks of her beloved one �oh baby, if only you could see me now
and if only you were here to help me forever and a day.�
But suddenly deep down in her heart she feels a real strength and a kind of certainty.
She�s aware �even if times are tough I know you will always stay with me.�

The following piece is meant to be a song but I put it here because it also deals with computers.

The Depressed User Blues

I was born to be a novice and my status is known all along. I was born to be a novice
and my status is known all along. So if you want to know my story just listen to this
little song.

I got a brandnew programme that always keeps crashing on me. I got a brandnew
programme that always keeps crashing on me. It is really the silliest programme that I
ever did see.

I got a stupid e-mail programme that never really does what it should. I got a stupid e-
mail programme that never really does what it should. But there ain�t no one out there
to help me now. I would have deleted it if I only could!

I got a big fat drunken dec talk that has a hot love affair with my best friend. I got a
big fat drunken dec talk that has a hot love affair with my best friend. I really ask
myself when will this love story just come to an end.

I have a silly fax programme and everybody says it ain�t printing well. I have a silly fax
programme and everybody says it ain�t printing well. I would like to find out the
reason but I guess there ain�t no one out there to tell.

I got a crap internet provider that always keeps on throwing me out. I got a crap
internet provider that always keeps on throwing me out. I won�t be sorry if I leave
them because I know what it�s all about!

I got a damn e-mail service that always says that I don�t exist. I got a damn e-mail
service that always says that I don�t exist. I will say bye bye to this service and on
compensation I will have to insist.

I got a downloaded software and it doesn�t let me change my user name. I got a
downloaded software and it doesn�t let me change my user name. I don�t know what
to do any more for it�s an injustice and a crying shame.

I got another illegal software that says I am to na�ve to install. I got another illegal
software that says I am to na�ve to install. It keeps on calling me dirty names but I
don�t know what I have done wrong at all.

I got a terrorizing virus that never really wants to disappear. I got a terrorizing virus
that never really wants to disappear. I guess if I cannot erase it I will certainly make it
out of here.

Well, this story is actually true. It happened to me with a programme people told me to download and try. But if you read on, you'll see how it ended...

Here�s another event C�line went through.
She got a new programme and didn�t know what to do.
People told her to download it from the internet.
They said it�s the best programme ever she could get.
When she installed the software it kept on crashing all day.
She sobbed: �Dear software of mine, will you please obey.�
But the more she cried, it didn�t continue the installation.
So she asked some of her friends for some useful information.
Some told her this, some told her that.
C�line shouted uncontrollably, she got mad.
Some people thought she had never seen a computer before.
It was her whole problem they did fully ignore.
They started from the beginning on and treated her like a child.
C�line couldn�t control herself any more, it made her brain run wild.
Some thought she had used a computer ever since she went to school.
C�line thought �What do you want to tell me, you�re breaking your own rule.�
She didn�t cope with any of the various things she was told.
It didn�t matter to her if she kept the programme because it was not her own fault.
In the end, she uninstalled it and they could hear her shout.
�Leave me alone with anything you want to tell me. I know what it�s all about!�

I wrote these lines on my training course when I lost a whole database due to a programme conflict! It seemed to me the others didn't realize how serious the situation was and I was really ashamed.

I am nothing but a crying lonely user. I have got no friends and everyone calls me a loser. Don�t you ever be angry cause patience is the better way to be. Every day I go to school. Oh I feel like such a fool. I�m a victim of this damn technology. And it seems they�re breaking their own rules.

I composed this dramatic poem when I realized how effitiently the apprenticeship group that came after me was tought. They had a different teacher and he was really showing all of them what is necessary if you want to survive at work.

the envious ones

Celine was trying to work
while the others were sitting at school.
She could listen to what the teacher said
And began to feel like a fool.
She spent so many years
Learning things she would never need.
She was overwhelmed by certain fears
Her work was incomplete.
Her jealousy began to grow
As she heard the teacher�s word.
If only they would know
These were things she had never heard.
They pictured her as a good worker
With all the things she had learned.

She thought she could get over it
But now it all returned.

Celine had gone through various things through the years
But this was the worst of all.
Her knowledge broke down, she couldn�t stop herself
And tears began to fall.
�Heaven, where did my knowledge go
and tell me what shall I do?�
The teacher stopped talking, The students stopped working
As they heard her cry boo hoo.
They began to wonder
while her cry echoed along the halls.
It got stronger and stronger, kept sounding in their heads
And was reflected on the walls.

�Help, help, help. We need someone to help.�
The situation got out of control.
The teacher saw celine lying on the table,
Crying out her heart and soul.
�Celine, tell me, what�s on your mind.
I never saw you that way.
�Sir, it�s my knowledge that�s uncomplete,
and I have realized it that very day,
and I thought I was ok.
I envy you so much
And all the work you do in detail.
Many years have passed and I learn so much,
Never knowing I could fail.�

�Celine, what do you need?
You are a good worker and we need you here,
You�re the light of the company.�
�Well, all I want is your exercise material for myself,
but I guess that�s just not for me.�

�Oh, if this is all and nothing more,
then your need I can fulfil.�
�Oh, really? But what will the others say?

Will they tolerate me still?�
�Yes, Celine, they may not show
but they all envy you.
You�ve given them courage and strength at work
Long before they knew.�

Celine stopped crying, she felt a warmth inside,
Knowing she was understood.
And the moral of this poem:
Show your feelings for it can be for good.

I wrote "the desperate one" about four weeks later. It can be seen in contrast to "the envious ones" because they are both dramatic poems. Whereas in the second one, the others don't really care about the feelings of the main character. It's also based on a true event as there are some people who never seem to care for my special needs, no matter how often I tell them. I did it when my colleague at work was getting mad at me because I had a computer problem. Actually, it was not my fault but it looked like she didn't want to understand it. I was really getting mad and tried very hard not to show it.

The Desperate One

One morning at work, her computer broke down and she claimed it was not her fault.
they shouted at her �you silly worker! You never listened to what we told. We told you
to do what we want you to but you never seem to care. Good excuse you�ve chosen
there but believe me, it�s accepted nowhere.�

She said �I�m not a little schoolgirl you can push around the place and see how she�ll
react.� Despair was written down in her face and they didn�t have no respect. Still
they kept on screaming, no matter how hard she would cry. She couldn�t keep on dreaming of integration that would not die.

�What have you done? Where have you been and tell us what you�ve learned! You
act as if you know everything. You�re not aware that time has turned. I guess we failed to know you before. We can�t tolerate this any longer. If you wanna stay here and show your qualities, you have to keep getting stronger.

She wanted to leave but the door was locked, so they forced her to stay inside. She
cried �It�s never been easy for me but that�s what you always denied. I gotta let you know so I tell you so. And please, please, let me go home. I thought this would be a better chance for me but I guess I�m better off alone.�

One day later, she thought nothing was wrong but the situation stayed the same. She
couldn�t understand why they shouted at her. It was really a crying shame. She took
all her courage and shouted back �there�s something I want you to know! If you don�t want me, tell me truthfully. And please, please, let me go.�

Now I hope that you have enjoyed all of my computer related poetry. I really don't want to cause any bad feelings with it. In my opinion, everyone has had more or less of such computer problems. I tend to say "It's never boring if you have got a computer at home!"