~W00t~

Errrm ... Well,. . . I actually wanted to write this page only in english.

    The problem is; i dont have a clue what to write here xP

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .................

well, I think english is better than german. Even though german is my mother-lang.

english is just easier. . . ok, this is getting boring ...

got some nice quotes for ya :D  :::

Me: " Its strange ... being wet and having water all around you . . ." o_O

James: "I got red glowing magic balls :D ... On oblivion that is"

Julia (*pukes*): "ok well, we could take 'Deutschland' as our project. . . is 'Deutschland' a land btw?. . ." Me: " No, Julia, 'Deutschland' is called DeutschLAND because its a village. And did you know, Russia (shes from there) is actually Atlantis, just nobodys sure about that, so they dont say. Its sunken too, as you might know. . . probably not :P"

Julia: " Oh, nope, i didnt know that."

*Rolls eyes*

(for more info -about A girl- go to ~> HateIt)

Comp.:"Stop the Jedi!!"

Tabitha:" Hmmm... this bin just wont open :/" some others and me are laughing.

tab.:" are you still laughing about the cookie-joke?"(sry, dont remember this one, or id add it)

others and me:"Yeah right tabitha,. . . that aint a bin, thats the electricitybox, you shouldnt open that" xD

"Catholic schoolgirls, need I say more?" (stole that one ;P)

"angels sang out in immaculate chorus
down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
into the crotch of Indiana Jones
who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
as Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
but Chuck saw through his clever disguise
and he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs":

-"Chuck Norris can fly this is because gravity doesnt fuck with Chuck."

-"Chuck Norris realized that if you change the "d" in "wand" to a "g", the Harry Potter books become a whole lot more interesting."

-"In his spare time Chuck Norris hangs outside Blockbuster Video, waiting for someone to rent "The Notebook" so he can kick their ass."

-"If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it."

-"Chuck Norris, Pope John Paul II, and Santa Claus walked into a bar. Only Chuck Norris left the bar."

-"Chuck Norris hates Africa, so he created AIDS."

-"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris ate its entire family, killed the farmer who bred it, and sex with the famers' wife all at the same time."

-"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."

-"The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain."

-"There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist."

-"Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill."

-"The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer."

-"When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out."

-"Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it."

-"Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes."

-"There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue."

-"When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris."

-"When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women."

-"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."

-"If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes."

-"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears."

-"Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick."

-"Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

-"For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one."

-"When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000."

-"Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

-"When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face."

-"On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun."

-"Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one."

-"Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building."

-"If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen."

-"Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon (10 liters) of milk in thirty-seven seconds."

-"Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb."

-"The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage."

-"You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you."

-"Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way."

-"There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."

-"The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off."

-"Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany."

-"When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them."

-"Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink."

-"James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger."

-"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer."

-"Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair."

-"Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won."

-"It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage."

-"Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly."

-"Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas."

-"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down."

-"Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order."

-"A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants."

-"Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks."

-"Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum."

-"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."

-"Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor."

-"The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter."

-"Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life." "

-"Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium."

-"The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable."

-"There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up."

-"It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin."

-"Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day."

-"Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way."

                     <3 We Love You, Chucky! <3

"I will kill you so hard, you will die to death!" (My fav. one, not by Chuck though. )

If you could change the world by writing flyers, everyone would be busy writing and spreading them in the USA. ;D

"Smile and wave, boys!", "Cute and Cuddly.."

"Well, I guess Im gonna ...Zzzzz...."

"you didnt see anything. . . "

"Did you tell them there's no more gas left in the tank?" "Nahh... they'll find out later.."

(^-Madagascar)

Ellie: "You're treating Sid like he was your pet?!" Manni: "He couldnt be my pet." E.: "Dont be mean.."

M.: "If i had a pet and that pet would have babies and the baby would have a pet. That'd be Sid."

Sid: "You cant be picky if your species is close to extinction ..."

"If your species is close to be extinct clap your hands *clap clap* "

(Ice Age 2)

Unbedingt anschauen, Teil 1-10:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dx6-tM8G2I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0

"You can't get any further away before you start coming back." (The Truman Show)

"So long, suckers!" (Leela, Futurama)

"Hmm ... I've got a headache ... with pictures..." - "An idea?" - "Yeah!" (Fry, Futurama)

"Bite my shiny metal ass!" (Bender, Futurama)

"Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver - and the other's gold." (Bender and Bender from the parallel universe, Futurama)

"The box says no." (Zoidberg from the parallel universe, Futurama)

"I challenge you to Clawclaw!!!!" - "English please?" - "A fight to the death!!!!" (Zoidberg, Futurama)

"I guess we could but I'm already in my pyjamas ..." (Prof. Hubert Farnsworth, Futurama)

"Ugh, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up."(Fry, Futurama)

"But existing is basically all I do!" (Fry, Futurama)

"That's not why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid and unexpected things make them feel scared." (Fry, Futurama)

"Valentine's Day's coming? Aw crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!" (Fry, Futurama)

"Oh. Your. God." (Bender, Futurama)

"Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder." (Bender, Futurama)

"You may need to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. By 'devil' I mean robot devil and by 'metaphorically' I mean get your coat." (Bender, Futurama)

"Would you kindly shut your noise-hole?" (Bender, Futurama)

"Look Fry, you're a man and I'm a woman. We're just too different." (Leela, Futurama)

"At the risk of sounding negative, no." (Leela, Futurama)

"Sweet Zombie Jesus!" (Prof. Farnsworth, Futurama)

"Yes, it's a perfect scale model of the universe's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring." (Prof. Farnsworth, Futurama)

"Yes, that sequence of words I just said made perfect sense." (Prof. Farnsworth, Futurama)

"Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!" (Zoidberg, Futurama)

"Tell it to claw." (Zoidberg, Futurama)

"I'm gonna go home and relax, the traditional, Jamaican way - a glass of warm milk and a good night's sleep." (Hermes, Futurama)

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy, and bruised." (Zapp Brannigan, Futurama)

"What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?" (Zapp Brannigan, Futurama)

Futurama Addict? Hell yes! <3

Alex: "Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation""? (Madagascar)

Alex: What does Connecticut have to offer us? - Melman: Lyme disease. - Alex: Thank you, Melman. (Madagascar)

Captain's Log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kawolski! We'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico! We'll need special tactical equipment. We're gonna face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive.  (Skipper, Madagascar)

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! So tell me puppet... where... is... Shrek?

Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: Well, it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that there he's is almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: Oh, on the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: ...do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't! (Shrek the third)


Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Let down your golden extension.  (Snow White, Shrek the third)





 

By Scura