~Funny Laws~
In doubt for the defendant ...
United Kingdom:
In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle. (Be adventurous and drive while youre doing it!)
No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police. (I drive my cow to work every day !)
All land must be left to the eldest son. (Amen.)
Divorces are outlawed. (*shrugs* Dunno how thats gonna work out)
London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats. (Very traditional)
It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person. (You can either build a new house next to yours or just have sex with a woman :P)
A bed may not be hung out of a window. (Awww, why not?)
Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism. (Hmmm ... speaks for itself)
Germany:
A pillow can be considered a "passive" weapon. (I'll kill you! With this pink pillow! Mwahahaha!)
It is illegal for ones car to run out of gas on the Autobahn.
Every office must have a view of the sky, however small. (Beautiful. Our classroom still doesnt have that, though -.-)
It is illegal to wear a mask. (What about Karneval? :S)
Israel:
If you have been maintaining an illegal radio station for five or more years, the station becomes legal. (Cool!)
It is forbidden to bring bears to the beach. (But I bet they'd want to see the ocean too :O)
No loud voices or big lights are allowed during weekends.
Picking one's nose on the Sabbath is illegal.
France:
Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of music on the radio must be by French artists. (Go to bed at 7, get up at 7, you wont have to hear it :X)
It is illegal to kiss on railways in France.
No pig may be addressed as Napoleon by its owner. (Awww, damnit!)
An ashtray is considered to be a deadly weapon. (Always knew all smokers were terrorists ^.~)
It is forbidden without a cemetery plot to die on the territory of the commune. (Excuse me, may I die here?)
China:
To go to college you must be intelligent. (Orly?)
Singapore:
Bungee jumping is illegal.
The sale of gum is prohibited. (*munch munch* errrm ...)
Homosexuals are not allowed to live in the country. (Sexists!)
Oral sex is illegal unless it is used as a form of foreplay. (Really? I used to do it instead of brushing my teeth, mmmmhh... )
As it is considered pornographic, you may not walk around your home nude. (siiiiigh ...)
It is considered an offense to enter the country with cigarettes. (Mwahaha no power to the smokerzzz!!)
If you are convicted of littering three times, you will have to clean the streets on Sundays with a bib on saying, "I am a litterer." (To have people laugh at you, saying:" Hahaha, look John, another one of those litterers, dont you ever do that!")
It is illegal to pee in an elevator. (What about elevators with a toilet in them?)
Turkey:
All married women must get their husband's permission if they wish to have a job, they must live wherever the husband wishes to reside, and they must forfeit all jointly held assets upon divorce from her husband. (Grrrrmmmmmlllphrghhh ...)
Swaziland:
Any woman who wears pants faces a possible punishment of having the pants ripped off her and torn to pieces by soldiers. (Huh?)
Young girls may not shake hands with men. ("Excuse me, How old are you Sir? 31 you say. I guess thats too old to be allowed to shake hands with me, Im sorry. ... lol wtf)
United States: (Btw ... Aint it funny that you find most weird laws in America? ... Just wondered)
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited. (Pfft. Poor discriminated bears :/ )
Incestuous marriages are legal. (Hello there, George!)
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. (Oh, Noes!)
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. ("hahaha" "be quiet, god will punish you if you laugh because of a fake moustache!" "Hahah, nah he wont. Why should he-" *Tzzzzsssst* "Told ya.")
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. (Erm .. What if there was snow on the railroad?)
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. (Ah okay, I'll keep that in mind. But wouldnt it be illegal to pull a lantern out of the ground to attach it to your car...? )
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. ( :'( )
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. (Shoot guns, not pictures!)
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (Yeah, I'd agree that thats pretty offensive towards the moose.)
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. ( ... )
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. (What about Coke and Beer?)
You may not have more than two dildos in a house. (DAMN!!)
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (Oi!)
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. (Mmmmkay.)
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. (So if you see two mating Tigers next to a school you will go and tell them to stop immediately?)
Bathhouses are against the law. (Dirty Americans!)
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. (Hmm ... To bike that fast you must be on drugs anyway ^^)
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. (*runs into a glassdoor* Damn door, open outwards!)
It is illegal to sell your children. (What? Oh Ffs... -.-)
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. ("How long would you like to park your elephant here?")
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. (Sharks might eat you.)
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Lolzards xD)
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. (Uh ... guess i'll go to prison then :P)
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. (But.. but.. what if ... *sigh*)
It is considered an offense to shower naked. (Yeah I agree. Thats just like opening your mouth to eat. Thats disgusting!)
Oral sex is illegal. (-.-)
You may not kiss your wife's breasts. (If you do, her nipples will shoot paintballs in ya face!)
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. (*whinnies*)
The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit. (Be more precise damnit!)
Signs are required to be written in English. (Ah okay, I see.)
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. (But on any other day you can ...? What if it melts? :S)
All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. (Hah!)
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears. (I've always hated that Clown-Trick)
It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. (Now thats a good law! <3)
You may not fish on a camel's back. (Are you allowed to swim on an old woman's foot, though?)
The English language is not to be spoken. (Hmm so they steal the angelic english, make it their own american language and now youre not allowed to speak the original one anymore?)
Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day. (Poor Atheists.)
The value of Pi is 3. (Erm .. Yeah right)
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. (Heh, ... Good luck with that law)
One may not sniff glue. (Owww )
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. (Cause between October and March its the hatching time for bathtub-donkeys which will kill you instantly if you take a bath at that time)
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. (I've always wanted to rape a foot, wouldnt you?)
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public. ( /Agree)
One-armed piano players must perform for free. (Three-armed piano players must perform for double. This law doesnt affect armed piano players.)
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes. (One could think you want to suck out your Bf's/Gf's lungs, of course)
A board was created to regulate among other things, hearing aids. (Knock knock, ... Who's there? ... its me! ... Me who? .... Its me, Aids!)
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. (They might aswell just drown themselves.)
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. (Aight, and how's that gonna work?)
Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison. (Noooo, really?)
Persons could land in jail for up to ten years for stealing an alligator. (Schni Schna Schnappi ... Oh, not anymore :/ )
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. (If you do it, do it 100%, dude!)
One could land in jail for up to a year for making a false promise. ("Mommy, didnt you say Santa Clause would come again this year?")
Prisoners who hurt themselves could serve an additional two years in jail. (lol, n00b!)
You may not step out of a plane in flight. (Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...)
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up. ("Get it down, get it down!")
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. (Yay!)
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (God bless America)
A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. (Yes, we can!)
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes. (Go steal 'em, kids!)
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber. (Ouchies)
It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (What if you have altzheimers?)
It is illegal to sleep naked. (Who would know, anyway?)
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (Why did the Chicken Cross Wisconsin ...?)
All bathtubs must have feet. (If you smell too bad they may run away!)
It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is. (Heh ...)
A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. (Good law, many men will be sued. :) )
Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison. ( Ummm ...)
Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820). (Thats why men always lie with their ages :P)
It is not illegal to speed. (Good to know)
One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. (But to anyone else, of course, why not)
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Sh00p!)
Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (They're coming straight for us! *Pouf*)
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested. (I've always been looking for a way to get rid of my parents :D)
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. (Now guys ... Where does a camel have it's steering wheel?)
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. (o_O)
You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe. (Great, Im boned.)
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach. (But ... it tastes to good ... :o )
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. (You might hit someone who's cleaning their car or so I suppose)
Handcuffs may not be sold to minors. (They errr ... might ... choke on it!)
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. (Hmm ... if doing 1 illegal thing, why not do 2 in 1?)
You cannot pump your own gas. (How do you know?)
The third Thursday of October is designated as "New Jersey Credit Union Day" and citizens of the state should observe the day with "appropriate activities and programs". ( .... Like?)
You may not slurp your soup. (*sllllurrrpppp* "You may not slurp. I have to kill you now.")
Idiots may not vote. (What about "Idiots may not become president"?)
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Yeahh.. bet you guys love this law.)
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. (Ouch!)
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. (Really? It is? Hahahahahahahahaha . . . .)
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (I could've guessed to be honest, although it depends how high the building was. The smaller the building the smaller the penalty. Doesnt affect unlucky people.)
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. ("Dear God, ..." ... ... In a friggen elevator? You're not going to heaven, just to the next floor, dude.)
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P. (Aight, I can do that)
All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. (-.-)
It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard. (Really? ... Mmmm.... "Dear Father, I have something to confess, ... yesterday I ....")
Oral sex is considered a crime against nature. (......... And?)
Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them. (How stupid can one be? "Hey there, I've got illegal substances at home, here's the money for the taxes for 'em")
A three dollar tax must be paid on all white goods sold. (Let's just paint these sheep black, then.)
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant. (oh my gawd, you served beer and pretzels at the same time!!! Are you insane? :O)
It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (Aww damn, I would've loved to see a drunk fish.)
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (And why is that?)
No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. (ummm ... )
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. (Who would do that lol)
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. (omg, wtf?)
People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed. (What if youre just ugly?)
It is illegal to have sex before you are married. (Uh, shit)
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus. (Hmm where to put them now...? In ya face!)
Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car. (How come?)
A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary. (Ask the necessary-o-meter!)
It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex. (Meh, Im glad I dont live in America :P)
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property. (hehe!)
It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. (xD)
You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. (thought oral sex was illegal?)
Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. (Awwww)
No one may bite off another's leg. (LOL!)
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. (Owww Im sorry to tell you hun, but we aint married, really)
It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley (How offensive!)
Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses. (You evil people scared my horsies!)
A railroad may not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people. (A railroad ... move ... itself ...?)
A permit must be obtained to fire a missle. (REEEEAAAALLLLLYYYY?)
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays. (Oi! If you slap me in the hallway I'll sue you!)
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants. (Fucken Hell ...)
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. (Would a chocolate factory be okay?)
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them. (ahhhhhhhh!!! Lol, I'll die of laughing!!!)
Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state. (I s'pose we're back in the Middle-ages...)
The definition of "dumb animal" includes every living creature. (Err ... What? xD)
Tattooing a minor is a misdemeanor. (Yo, kick tha rhymes, George!)
Skunks may not be carried into the state. (What if theyre made into handbags?)
It is illegal to sell one's eye. (I see ...)
A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather. (Its called "Windows-God mode")
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. (6? What you need six dildos for? :O)
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (You might accidentally hit it's head :O)
It is illegal to milk another person's cow. (Lol, how dodgy does that sound to you? xD)
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. (English beer tastes like catwee in my opinion :P)
It is illegal not to drink milk. (... and if youre allergic?)
Birds have the right of way on all highways. (Would be stupid to tell a bird not to fly here, wouldnt it?)
No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
IT IS ILLEGAL TO CAUSE A CATASTROPHE!!!!!
It is illegal to deny the existence of God. (... Freedom Of Speech ...)
Police radar detectors are illegal. ( :D )
Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars. (Honk the Horn, Johnny!)
It is illegal to tickle women. ( =D =D =D .... that law is from Virginia btw xD)
All lollipops are banned. ( D: )
It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich. (Its not illegal to pretend they're poor, though)
It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. (Errghhhhhh ....! They dont allow Dirty Talk but this ... eh? lol)
A person may be placed in jail for up to six months for making fun of someone who does not accept a challenge. (Whoops!)
For each act of public swearing a person shall be fined one dollar. (oh, for fuck's sake, fucking bullshit. Damn your freaking mum!)
Whistling underwater is prohibited. (I surely would love to try that, though!)
At one time, margarine was illegal. (For whatever reason ...)
While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license. (You also get tokens for each Cheese Maker's Quest you do, to hand in for new techniques. xD)
You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit. (Carrots?)
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (Guess why)
It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas. (Bet it will be illegal to have an accent soon, too)
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 p.m. (How promiscuous!)
It is illegal to let your cat run loose in Denver unless it has a taillight. (A taillight... Yeah Right. Should it honk before overtaking another cat, too?)
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands. (Might aswell just stub your toe)
A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces. (*bounce*)
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. (No one who is not gay would do that, anyway)
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. (Stupid Monkeys)
It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday. (After 6:00pm ... until? Ever? :D)
It is illegal for a woman to bungee jump naked on Sunday before midday. (But any other time, yeah for sure)
It is illegal to eat in a restaurant if it is on fire. (I've always wanted to eat a fried waiter)
One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. ( :S :S :S)
Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets. (Freeze, Bee! Dont move or we'll shoot! *pouf* Buzz buzz...*grhg*)
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals. (Come on Donkey, Gimme some weed, Pleeaaasssee)
Bathing is prohibited during the winter. ( ... )
In Indianola the ”Ice Cream Man” and his truck are banned. (Bad Ice Cream Man, Really Baaaadd!)
In Marshalltown horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. (Aww .. that hydrant was so tasty though!)
In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way. (I want er... World's Piece)
You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour. (Seriously... how weird would you need to be to do that?)
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend. (Aww)
It is a law that "When you get out of prison you are granted a horse and $100 or a bus ticket to anywhere." Whatever you may choose. (I'll have a cheeseburger and a coke, please)
Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public. ( How would one know? xD )
Women must have their bodies covered with at least 16 yards of cloth at all times. (I'll have a bath ... In my dressing gown -.-)
It is legal to throw a snake at someone but it is illegal to shake a snake at someone. (*Ssssssss*)
It's against the law to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church without a licence. (*squish* whoops)
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance. (for example: ME)
Electric fences are banned. (Damn you! Damn you all to hell, electric fences!)
It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license. (Guess you wanna go get my cats now? :S)
You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street. (I bet I could!)
It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. (Damnit!)
You may not run out of gas/petrol. (Umm... I might, actually ...)
In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags. (Omg this pretzel is so ... goddamn heavy.. I .. I cant put it in this bag ...)
Driving is not to be done while asleep. (Shouldnt it be ... Sleeping is not to be done while driving..?)
It is illegal to drive without windscreen wipers. (You don't need a windscreen but, you must have the wipers.)
It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day. (Hmmm ... when would it be legal I wonder)
In Seattle if a woman is sitting on a man's lap while riding a bus, train, or trolley, there must be a pillow between them. (What if there's a hole in the pillow?)
In Bellingham it is illegal for a woman to take any steps that are not in the backwards direction while dancing. (Meet the Roberts ... they live backwards)
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions". (*Gets onions*)
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